Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog

Hey all! New month means a new blog chain tour with the sisterhood members! This month, I ask:

If you’re querying now, or have in the past, how do you develop patience to wait for responses?

This is near and dear to my heart as a lot of you know because I am in the midst of querying my YA dystopian.


Gotta say, I generally start querying with positive thoughts and all intentions of being patient. Key word: start.

After a couple weeks (generally after the rejects start rolling in), I get antsy. Does my query suck? Does my writing suck (even after ALL the work I put in??? Gasp!)? Is my story boring, unmarketable, too late to be on the “cutting edge?” Blurgh.

The anstyness eats up my patience like the Langoliers ate the alterna-world that Stephen King dreamed up.

Then I’m left with the feeling of: Oh my HECK, I try SO hard, and STILL spin my wheels. This time is NO different than last time. I SUCK.

Nice and positive, right? Pffft.

I confess this because I know I’m not the only one whose felt this way. I also know it’s part and parcel of the game. I also know I need to overcome it (or at least not let myself wallow too much in it when the thoughts inevitably arise).

Now, I recently heard of some dear writer friends who have hit a BIG speedbump in their writing careers. I will let them explain what happened because it’s not my place to speak for them, but let me say, I felt for them. Like FELT for them. Plus, the news rocked my world. And not in a good way.

Seriously, with the numbers so against writers, where’s the hope? And if you’ve still got hope, is it a means of deluding yourself?

At the risk of derailing myself…

I had put this question out there to Twitter (paraphrased):

Is there still hope for me?

I doubted it. But the response I got was quite the opposite. People told me to keep going. Don’t give up. Yeah, there’s strife and angst, but it’s part of the journey, the potential highs outweigh the negatives. HOPE. EXISTS.

I put this aside out there because not only do I struggle with patiently waiting for agents to respond to my queries, I also struggle with patiently waiting for the angst to resolve. It’s during those times when my worries take over that I consider quitting. It’s during those times that I’m at the most risk of losing hope.

Low patience=High urges to quit

High patience=balance + hope

OK, to get to my point, how do I feed my patience pool?

  • Eat chocolate
  • Talk to my writerly friends
  • Flail and get out the angst quickly and then just as quickly move on to a new project
  • Refuel my brain with reading
  • Remember how excited I feel about working on projects
  • Remember I write to write. It’s a part of who I am and it’s going to stay, whether or not I get an agent or get published
  • Remember that even when I want to quit, I don’t *really* want to quit. Uh, if that makes sense
  • Remember that the successful writers are the ones who persevered and never gave up

Alrighty, for those of you who powered through this rambly, longish post, tell me what you do to keep your patience during querying.