As authors, we have to market ourselves. Lots of authors have readings and signings at bookstores, libraries, schools, etc.
Ever thought about having a reading for animals? Well, here you go:
And if you ever do a reading at an open mic night, make sure this guy isn’t there cuz he’ll just steal your thunder. 😉
My dad cleaned out the storage shed in the back yard and found a lot of high school stuff I’d put away years ago. He brought the boxes to my house and I’ve been sorting through them bit by bit.
Finding my cheerleading jacket really brought back some memories. I was never really good at the jumps and stuff, but I had fun cheering, going to the games, and watching my team get creamed watching the athletes compete.
What fun memorabilia have you come across from high school?
Trolling the interwebz last weekend, I spied a website whitetrashrepairs.com. Not the most PC term, but the site catalogues pics of cob-job masters that’d put MacGyver to shame. Here are a few of my fav pics!
EDIT: PICTURES REMOVED TO AVOID COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT. CLICK ON LINK ABOVE TO SEARCH SITE FOR PICS.
Anything catch your eye?
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When patients are admitted to the hospital, their vital signs are checked at regular intervals. Vital signs include blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, and percent oxygenation of the blood. A fifth vital sign includes rating pain on a scale of 0-10. Since pain is such a subjective thing, the scale includes pictures to help the rater identify where they lie on the scale.
Pain Measurement Scale (CLICK THE LINK TO SEE PIC)
A better pain chart has been made and it’s circling around the interwebz like crazy. So I thought I’d share it with all y’all.
A Better Pain Chart (CLICK LINK TO SEE PIC)
I deleted the pic to avoid copyright infringement, so I’ll paraphrase the scale…
0: No pain
1: Not sure if I’m in pain
2: Just need a band-aid
3: Distressed; don’t like what’s happening
4: Pain is not effing around
5: Why is this happening to me???
6: Ow. Pain is super legit right now
7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared
8: Pain is disturbing. I may be dying
9: I am almost definitely dying
10: I am actually being mauled by a bear
11: Blood will explode out my face any moment
Too Serious for Numbers: You probably have ebola. It appears you may also be suffering from stigmata and/or pinkeye
Quite useful, isn’t it?
A couple weeks ago, I got a visitor. They very quietly waited on my front stairs until my cousin noticed them…
…and screamed.
She ran inside and promptly sent me out to talk to the uninvited guest.
So I did.
The guest introduced themselves as a writer. Their pen had run out of ink and they asked to borrow one of mine.
I gladly obliged by sharing an animalistic style pen. 🙂
“Call me Wolfie.”
Things can get pretty intense on an inpatient psychiatric unit. Particularly in the spring when people get more revved up and we tend to see more symptoms of mania.
To keep things in perspective, we try to use humor (it’s a MATURE defense mechanism, just ask Anna Freud) to diffuse our frustration and anger.
Here’s some of my favorite jokes (click HERE to go to the website):
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.
Once I had multiple personalities, but now we are feeling well.
What jokes have you come across that really get you laughing?
EDIT: May I just add that this is NOT intended to offend anyone. Actually, I’d probably be dialing #1 repeatedly myself. And I am VERY indecisive…I think. 😉
So, I’ve been delving into writing short stories of late. My short story, City of Lights in Stone in the Day of Demons anthology is getting some pretty positive press (I’ve been asked to sign autographs, LOL!) and I’m working on another for an Apocalyptic anthology.
It got me thinking about how different short stories are from novels. And because it’s Flake-out Friday, I have to put a fun spin on the topic…
Pixar shorts are some of the most fabulous, creative, heart-warming, and genius “short stories” out there.
Here’s one of my favorites (link to original HERE):
What’s your favorite Pixar short?
Last Thursday, I was in a particularly grumbletastic mood. Poor sleep, max stress, and ludicrous situations all added up to….yuckiness.
Anyway, my co-worker and BFF, Tiffany, cheered me up by showing me the following video. (Warning: there is, um, language here…but if you’re okay with that, then prepare to laugh your patootie off!)
THANK YOU, Tiffany!
Enjoy, dear friends!
Whee! Boy I had fun last Friday announcing my pub contract for ENDURE. THANKS to all you guys for your support and retweeting and facebooking, etc.
Now, to announce the WINNERS!
1st place (winner of a novel of your choice):
2nd place (winner of the necklace and earrings set symbolizing ENDURE):
ENDURE Blurb:
Seventeen-year-old Justin’s anemic blood is a blessing. Or a curse. It all depends on who you ask.
In the Post-Collapse world where the immortal Vie lord over the rapidly diminishing mortals, Anemies like Justin and his sister are rabidly sought after. Their blood causes the Vie to age, a powerful threat, and yet a priceless hope for the Earth’s downtrodden humans.
When Justin’s sister is kidnapped by the Vie, he vows to rescue her. He strikes a deal with the human resistance, but they’re nothing but a cult with delusions that a messianic Anemie will free them all. They think that person is Justin; whereas Justin thinks they’ll need someone stronger than a teenage boy who gets dizzy after running twenty feet.
In a race to find his sister before she dies, Justin learns that not all Vie are evil, and not all humans have his best interests at heart. Trapped with choosing between saving what’s left of humanity and saving his sister Justin can’t decide which option is going to get him killed first.
This is pretty much how I am before coffee.
What would you do with Jedi powers if you had ’em?
Author Laura Diamond--Lucid Dreamer 