It Was A Dark and Stormy Blogfest Contest…Also: a Crusade and the winner of some swag!


Brenda Drake is hosting a first line blogfest today and tomorrow. Be sure to check out her blog for a list of participants!

What’s up for grabs? A query critique, a 25 pages + query critique, and a 50 pages + query critique by none other than Weronika Janczuk, writer and agent with D4EO Lit Agency!

Best of luck everyone!

Now, my entry:

  • Working Title: ZODIAC COLLECTOR
  • Genre: Middle Grade Fantasy/Adventure
  • First line:ย The Renaissance Faire wrecks my birthday every year.

(My first sentence is mind-blowing in its awesomeness, right? LOL!)

Alrightly, now the comments and critiques y’all give help me to perfect the line so I can enter it in the contest on Brenda’s blog on February 9th! Thanks in advance!

Don’t forget to check out Lydia’s Medical Monday post and Sarah’s psychology related post!

Wait–I’m not finished!

Drum roll please…And the winner of swag from Michelle McClean’s Homework Helpers: Essays and Term Papers is:

DORIS!!!!!

EDIT: Doris has claimed her prize! I’ll forward the info to Michelle so she can mail your swag!!!

AND…

Have you seen Rachael Harrie’s Blog Crusade?! Click here to check it out. This is the second “annual” Crusade designed to connect writers and bloggers through the interwebz. Lookin’ forward to seeing you there!

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42 comments on “It Was A Dark and Stormy Blogfest Contest…Also: a Crusade and the winner of some swag!

  1. Ciara Knight says:

    I’m in Rachael Harrie’s Blog Crusade. We might end up in the same group since I write YA and MG some too. We’ll see. Either way, I’ll be visiting your blog. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I love that line. I mean how could a fair/festival ruin your day?

  3. Doris says:

    OH MY GOODNESS! I’m shaking…how exciting it is to learn that I can be that lucky!

    Thank you…Thank you… You just made my day! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Doris

  4. Love that first line. Thanks for the links.

  5. Kerri Cuevas says:

    I so have to know what is going on lol. Nice first line!

  6. Kate Haggard says:

    First line? Awesome. I wouldn’t change of a thing. In fact, I want to see the rest and know exactly how the renn faire ruins birthdays.

  7. I like this line – we get some voice and we wonder why the Fair ruins her life.

    Thanks for the Blog Crusade info!

  8. Talli Roland says:

    Ah! I love your first line! I’m intrigued!

  9. jmanni32 says:

    That’s great! Love the humor in it, and also the possibility of what’s to come…nicely done!

  10. Lydia K says:

    I love your first line, because it immediately makes me think, what the heck is the Faire and why is it wrecking this gal?
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. It is good! I already feel for the character and want to know how it ruins the birthday!

  12. Margo Kelly says:

    Agreed. Love it. Great mg first line!

  13. Elaine says:

    The Renaissance Faire wrecks my birthday every year.

    You could froth it up with a picture to clue the reader in..

    Exhausted parents and enough lace to strangle…

  14. Nicole says:

    Good first line. I’m envisioning being damned annually by giant legs of mutton and silly-looking swords. Heh!

  15. I like your first sentence. I’m really interested in what the rest of the paragraph is about and I’m very curious as to how a person could hate a faire on their birthday!? Great sentence.

  16. Taryn says:

    Renaissance Faires! Birthdays! Unhappy snarkiness! Voice! This line is so simply brilliant.

  17. I love this. I love renaissance fairs so I’m very interested to see where you’re going with this. Great job!

  18. Morgan Lee says:

    Darn that Renaissance Faire. I want to snap her wings. ๐Ÿ˜‰ No, really..I just wanna know why she would ruin birthdays. Great first line. ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Danyelle says:

    Love this! Reminds me of THE TOTAL TRAGEDY OF A GIRL NAMED HAMLET. ๐Ÿ˜€

  20. Ok, I loved this one. Nice and to the point, sets up an interesting situation and shows a bit of humor.
    Good job.

  21. Nora Coon says:

    I really like this, and I’d definitely keep reading.

  22. Eleni says:

    Yes, your 1st line *is* mind-blowing awesomeness! I can’t imagine the Ren Faire ruining a birthday, but it gives a good set-up for the MC’s world.

    Good luck with the contest!

  23. Cheree Smith says:

    Great first line. Makes me want to read on.

  24. I really like the humor in this line and would love to keep reading ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for sharing!

  25. Corinne says:

    Oh, i really like your first line as is, no question!!!

    I had to read it twice to get my head around the odd spelling of Faire (this is fairy?) I don’t read high fantasy, so I might just be totally out of the know… lol

    Very good luck to you- -I think you have a winner here.

    Corinne

  26. Jen says:

    Short, sweet, and I wanna know how the faire wrecks their birthday. Nice job!

  27. Donna Hole says:

    I think your first line is perfect just the way it is. Awesome indeed.

    ……..dhole

  28. I already love your delicious sense of humor. I also write M/G -Y/A fantasy and contemporary. And joined the Crusaders and well.

    You would have a field day with my mc’s father. Psychotic and abusive…..a DR. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, kind of guy.

    You’re first line in very similar to mine in a sense. Solid. clean, etc, but it lacks a bit of pizzaz. Give us a bit more. Tease us, taunt us, let us beg for more. I know you know how.

    I definitely like to know more. As stated before, how can a fair wreck your birthday? A hook is there, but …

    Michael

  29. I really love this one. Great voice, intriguing. Is it because everyone would rather go there?

    I would definitely read on ;o)

  30. myne Whitman says:

    I like that it puts us immediately inot the MC’s head. Nice..

  31. I wouldn’t change a thing. It’s great “grab the reader” first line. I’m already sucked in. ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. Trisha says:

    I did enjoy your first sentence, for sure ๐Ÿ˜€

  33. Loralie says:

    Love you first line. It’s got voice and hook even though it’s short. No suggestions here!

  34. Richard says:

    I think you’ll need a strong first paragraph to follow this, but I love the petulant voice, and tight, concise prose.

    Good luck!

  35. lenny lee says:

    hi miss laura! im a middle grader and for sure i could like that first sentence cause its gotta be a pretty big reason for something to wreck a guys birthday every year. that
    renaissance faire is pretty much fun and for me i could wanna go there for my birthday. so you got me wondering how it could mess up some ones birthday. the only thing i could say for that sentence is maybe it could be some stronger cause of that kid being mad. maybe it could say…that stupid renaissance faire or that dumb renaissance faire or some stuff that says its not cool for it being here right at that kids birthday. now you got me wondering. yikes! im hooked! ouch! i just gotta know more! i hope you could do real good in that contest.
    …smiles from lenny ๐Ÿ™‚
    p.s. i won one of miss michelles homework helpers: essays and term papers on a blog contest. i cant wait to get it cause i could need all the help i could get for getting my homework done. homework…ack!

  36. RaShelle says:

    Dany Faire. LOL. I like it. Good luck. =D

  37. RaShelle says:

    Dang NOT Dany. Whoops. ;D

  38. Lol! Love your first line:) It’s funny and hooks the reader. Fellow crusader here, stopping in and saying hi:-)

  39. Arlee Bird says:

    I like that first line — like, why? Is it kind of like having your birthday around Christmas?

    Lee
    Tossing It Out and the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2011

  40. Liza Kane says:

    Hi there! just wanted to stop by and wave at you, fellow crusader *waves*
    I like that first line, too. I like the narrator’s sassy voice ๐Ÿ˜‰

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