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Posts Tagged ‘critique’

Authoress/Miss Snark held a #Blogpitch contest on Twitter last week. She selected 10 pitches and guess what, my pitch was chosen! Woot! Today, I’m posting my first 250 words of BEAT, my YA thriller that I want to query to agents. There are 9 other entrants to check out, so be sure to head over to her blog for critique instructions and to see the other first pages. Entrants can win a 15 page edit from the Authoress herself.

I hope you enjoy the opening lines of BEAT!

Pitch: Getting a new heart might not fix sixteen-year-old Adam’s broken one.

First 250 words:

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

Wind slashes across my body, burrows up my nose, and yanks at my hair. I hook my fingers around the wire fence wrapped around the observation deck and toggle my lip piercing—two black hoops side by side—with my tongue. Spires top the fencing, curving inward way above everybody’s heads to prevent people from jumping off. The city below seems like a miniature replica at this height.

New York City, America’s major metropolis. So different from my London.

I pick out several landmarks dotting the skyline and mentally slash another item/adventure/must do/whatever off my bucket list. Well, it’s more like my parents’ bucket list.

For me.

It’s hard to muster up joy and awe when all I’m doing is waiting for someone to die so they can give me their heart. Anything we do—whether it’s a weekend trip to the city or having front row tickets for a concert or celebrating another week of life with a hot fudge sundae—all it amounts to is killing time.

And all I want is more time.

But not like this. I want healthy time. So I can live my life.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

I press a palm to my chest and sigh.

It’s bad enough I was born with a bum ticker. It’s worse knowing I’ll probably die before I graduate high school. It’s the worst knowing I’m not yet sick enough to be prioritized on the transplant list.

I have to be one beat away from a fatal arrhythmia and then it’s a gamble if I’ll survive long enough to find a match.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

 

Here’s the LINK to Miss Snark’s post where you can read the other first pages. ;)

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Authors Dianne Salerni and Marcy Hatch are hosting me today. They have critiqued the first page of my spin off short story, TSAVO PRIDE. Pop on over to see their thoughts–AND add your own! :)

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A long-time writer pal, Kerri Cuevas, is sharing the cover of her debut YA paranormal romance, DEADLY KISSES, and I’m super stoked to take part in the celebration. Congrats, Kerri!!!! You’ve got a gorgeous cover! :)

DeadlyKisses_CVR[1]

Blurb for DEADLY KISSES:

Aiden Grant is seventeen, has a killer kiss and a boss who used to be President, back in the old days. You see, Aiden is a grim reaper and his kiss welcomes the newly dead. But Aiden’s pleasant grim reaper lifestyle is in jeopardy. And it’s not only because Honest Abe keeps throwing out history lessons with reaping assignments just to confuse him. It’s because Aiden’s next assignment is to reap the soul of Bee, the only girl he has ever loved.

When Aiden’s kiss of death fails, intertwining their souls, Bee is still very much alive and they are both in trouble. The ancients want Bee, who has special powers of her own, and they’ll do anything to get her.

Some rules are meant to be broken, even if that means Aiden must bargain with his own soul to save Bee. Who knew the afterlife could get so complicated?

kerri’s bio:

Kerri Cuevas was born and raised in Rhode Island. She moved to New Hampshire with her husband, three kids, cats and a rabbit named Hercules in 2005. When she’s not writing, she’s chasing chickens on her small farm or searching for the ultimate mac-a-cheese recipe.

 
Kerri went to college for Early Childhood Education but now writes books for young adults full-time. Her storytelling stems from watching too many horror flicks as a teen, but she no longer needs to sleep with the lights on.

Here’s more info about Kerri and her debut novel:

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Laura Barnes was gracious enough to critique my blog last week and I wanted to share her blog with you guys today.

Click HERE to see her critique of my blog.

Laura does a great job of assessing a blog’s aesthetic appeal, informational content, design, and scope.

I IMMEDIATELY implemented many of the suggestions she gave me.

You can sign up to get your blog critiqued too!

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Deb’s up for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Blog topic. Stop by her blog and say hi! Check out her dragons figures too–she designs and molds them herself.

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